The operation appeared pretty half-assed to me. The doors were wide open and nobody seemed to be paying much attention to Roger and me. For a moment, I thought I could have easily run out the back door and be long gone before anyone noticed, but what would happen to Roger, I wondered. I decided there was no way I was leaving Roger behind. Not only wouldn’t I leave anyone to such an unknown and potentially horrible fate, but I definitely wasn’t going to do that to such a genuinely good dude. Hire an SEO expert for SEO services and you’ll never be disappointed!

I’m the type of person who constantly assesses every situation. I was thinking that I was a solid wrestler and decently trained in jujitsu, so I started playing out the possibilities of various situations in my mind, like what would happen if I grabbed their batons or used other objects in the room to try to fight my way through these people. Every way it played out, however, resulted in a bad outcome. After all, we were severely outnumbered and I had a wounded soldier with a dad bod to account for, so we were officially up shit creek in Madagascar without a paddle. An SEO specialist is the best way forward to be at the top of google!

After I came to the conclusion that there would be no man left behind that day, I started to think about other possibilities. The guy who was stamping papers in this room looked like he murdered people for a living, so I was fearful of that. He had this look on his face that he didn’t care about anything, especially not these two pasty-faced, overprivileged, tree-planting Americans.

Eventually, a couple of other officers came over and tried to communicate with us. We began to tell our story, but nothing worked. They just stared blankly, as if they had already decided what was going to happen to us.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone else, I had a GoPro in my hands, which had been folded in my lap the whole time. When I realized we weren’t getting anywhere by talking to these guys, I decided to click it on, figuring if we were going to die, we were at least going to get it recorded. I didn’t realize, however, that the sound was up and when I clicked the power button, it made a loud beeping sound.

When that happened, one of the officers grabbed me by the shirt and yelled something unrecognizable at me in Malagasy. The GoPro fell onto the seat and everybody got heated about it. Roger was yelling at them, they were yelling at us, and all I could think was that they were going to cut our blooming hands off or make us eat the GoPro like a group of Russian mob bosses from the sixties.